The shop · A Parody

The Rich Quick Shop

Premium tools for premium people. Each item is hand-picked by Rich, priced by Rich, and sold out because of Rich.

Due to overwhelming demand everything is sold out. Overwhelming demand is also a mindset.*

This is a joke shop. Nothing here is for sale, and there's no checkout.

Products

  • The Secret Funnel™

    $997 Sold out

    A genuine plastic kitchen funnel. Pour your money in the top and it comes out the bottom, into Rich's bucket.

    Bucket not included. Bucket is Rich's.

  • Pre-Manifested Vision Board

    $497 Sold out

    A blank corkboard Rich has already stared at for 11 seconds. Just add belief.

    Pins sold separately, in a pack of one.

  • The Ladder With No Rungs

    $1,497 Sold out

    Hand-picked from Old Master Fen's stall. For climbing the corporate ladder without the hassle of climbing.

    Rich bought the last one. He uses it as a coat rack.

  • Jar of Fog (Clarity Edition)

    $77 Sold out

    Hold it up to the light and you'll see your future exactly as clearly as Rich sees his.

    Fog may settle. So may you.

  • Countdown Timer (Resets on Refresh)

    $297 Sold out

    "Only 10 minutes left!" Forever. The same urgency engine that has powered every Rich Quick offer since 2019.

    Ending soon. Has been ending soon for six years.

  • Creatine Tub (Shake-Only Edition)

    $149 Sold out

    Rich's 3:45 AM cardio. Shake vigorously for 20 minutes. Do not open, consume or exercise.

    Contains air and confidence.

  • 400,000 Followers (One Server)

    $49 Sold out

    Instant social proof, lovingly hand-raised on a single server farm. Each follower has a name like "user8812734".

    Followers may not have faces, opinions or electricity.

  • CircleJerk Membership Ring

    $297/mo Sold out

    Gold-coloured ring for members of Rich's mastermind. Lets other members know to comment "🔥 king" on your posts.

    Monthly billing. Ring turns your finger green, as a reminder of growth.

  • Leased Lambo Photoshoot (1 Photo)

    $4,997 Sold out

    Thirty seconds next to a supercar, one photo, and a man from the lease company checking his clipboard.

    Photo may not be posted after the lease ends.

  • $RICH Coin, Raffle Ticket Edition

    $0.0001 Sold out

    The coin that taught everyone a "learning moment". Now available in Uncle Kev's preferred format: paper raffle tickets.

    Minimum order 99,900 tickets.

  • Gratitude Journal (Gratitude Sold Separately)

    $89 Sold out

    200 blank pages and one pre-filled entry: "Grateful for you buying this journal. — R.Q."

    Gratitude available as a $49/month add-on.

  • Gold Aviators (Reflect Your Success Back)

    $349 Sold out

    Mirrored so when people look at you, they see themselves wanting to be you.

    Not UV-rated. Rich says the sun works for him.

  • Keynote Headset Mic (Not Plugged In)

    $799 Sold out

    Look like you're giving a TEDx talk while walking through Bunnings.

    No sound. Rich says that's "silent authority".

  • Signed 12-Month Lock-In Contract (Framed)

    $1,200 Sold out

    A collector's item from our real-ish Pricing page. Signed by Rich, witnessed by Barkley the dog.

    Cancellation requires 90 days' written notice by carrier pigeon.

* Rich has not technically made any of these products. Restock date: when you believe hard enough.

The one thing that's coming soon

The book is not sold out. It's not on sale yet either.

Rich's parody book, Why I'm Successful, and You Suck, is coming to Amazon. It's the only item in the Rich Quick empire you'll actually be able to buy.

See the bookGet real marketing help